How Much I Love to Dance
Out on the grand stage
The lights are blinding, people are gathered
All that matters right now is this moment
This very moment
It means more than anything else
So much time spent on getting the moves right
Understanding the tone
Knowing how to land the pirouette with grace
Knowing to be full of expression, full of extension
Yet, contain yourself, never be too much
Too much can lose observance
Too much can lose the interest of others
But putting in the hours, the hours spent practicing
They are all leading to this very moment
Physically, yes physically there is no issue
How can there be?
There can’t be with practice
Practice, they say, it makes perfect
But right there, at the bottom of your mind
Just about where skull meets neck
There is a lingering voice, a lingering thought
This thought it lurks
This thought it is left unsaid, under-developed, unrecognizable to the those closest to you
Most of the time, even yourself
These thoughts though, they seep
They seep, these thoughts, they pour
Subconsciously, without your notice, they are working on overdrive
Sometimes they even work harder than you let yourself work
How can that be? Something so connected to you, yet so far away
Quickly, unnoticeably
These obtrusive thoughts, they begin to hinder your true potential
Stopping your intrinsic, your real happiness from being appreciated
Reminders of parents who only knew to speak through abuse
Physical, Emotional, Mental
Abuse, all the same, all one language
Whatever their language, it all seems like the only language you can understand
Of the best friend you spoke to enthusiastically about life planned
Enthusiastically enough, never to imagine that the next day
The very next day
This best friend would be so in pain, that the only way out was to take his own life
Unbeknowest to you, he sat in pain, pain he could not speak of
Not even the closest to him could recognize
Not even the closest to him could provide him a soundboard
The language
Of your brothers friend, quickly turned family, who went before his life had began
Went far away, to a place no one knows much about
A place we all want to understand and find faith in
A place we can only hope he is happier in
The language
The language of multitudes of tragedy
The language
Of the ones closest to you hurting,
Hurting so bad
Yet, you yourself, you feel immobile
Enable, inadequate
Inadequate to find that spot
At the bottom of their mind, just about where skull meets neck
And touch it, with words, with comfort
With safety, with reassurance that this isn’t it, this isn’t all of it
But who are you to provide that?
Who are you to know
Because remember, remember you have also been here before
You have been broken down, alone
But why are you different?
What stopped you?
What prevented the obtrusive thoughts lingering
The obtrusive thoughts taking over
What hindered the next headline news tragedy from occurring?
Well right now, it’s the lights blinding, the people gathered
Because right now all that matters is this moment
This very moment
It means more than anything else
This very moment, if approached correctly
This moment will give you the strength to provide others
The will to move forward
To understand their tone in life
Help them land all of their calculated moves, with grace
Help them to be full of expression, full of extension, with this one life
This one life that is given
All these hours spent practicing, this practice might not make perfect
But it makes a life, a life that looking back
Might have been hard, might be ridden with scars ridden with a bit of darkness
But who goes to say, that when you’re on stage
When the lights are on
When the crowd is ready
That your story is not worth telling, that your story won’t save the next loved one
That this moment, this very moment
It means more than everything
